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Forum > Unlogische Sprüche [CLOSED] Generelle Themen>> Smalltalk> Unlogische Sprüche [CLOSED]>Antwort erstellen Thema: Unlogische Sprüche [CLOSED] Seite: 1 | 2 | 3 next >> Sotorus 26.02.2008 um 17:16 Clan: Kein Clan Postings: 27 NEW Also ich würde gerne mal wissen was ihr so alles an unlogische Sprüche kennt? Ich fang mal an. Nech?^^ -->Über den Berg ist es kürzer als zu Fuß!   DataLorD 26.02.2008 um 17:24 Clan: Kein Clan Postings: 90 NEW Cola schmeckt besser als aus dem Glas! __________________ in /dev/null hört dich niemand schreien!   Neo 26.02.2008 um 18:40 Clan: Traumfabrik Postings: 230 NEW Nachts ist kälter als drausen   Naikan 26.02.2008 um 18:53 Clan: Kein Clan Postings: 230 NEW rollt ein ball um die ecke und fällt um __________________   DeathForce 26.02.2008 um 19:05 Clan: Gamesession Hannover Postings: 3057 NEW Sind zwar nich direkt Sprüche aber man kann gut frische Azubis mit verarschen ^^ Wasserwagenausgleichsgewichte Getriebesand Wasserstrahl Biegezange Kolbenrückholfeder Dieselzündspule Vierkantbohrer 1 Kübel Pressluft Vergaserinnenbeleuchtung verchromte Zündfunken blaue und rote Knackplätchen für Umschaltknarre Fernlichtventile Ambossklangfett Spannungsabfallbehälter Martinshorn-Kassette Steuerhinterziehungsformulare Drehstromkurbel __________________   DataLorD 26.02.2008 um 19:10 Clan: Kein Clan Postings: 90 NEW Du hast die Kümmelspaltmaschine und die Blinkerflüssigkeit vergessen __________________ in /dev/null hört dich niemand schreien!   DeathForce 26.02.2008 um 19:12 Clan: Gamesession Hannover Postings: 3057 NEW jo und die Knackpatronen für den Drehmomentschlüssel __________________   Jango 26.02.2008 um 20:43 Clan: Gamesession Hannover Postings: 735 NEW Man und was ist mit dem "Siemens Lufthaken" den müssen Azubis bei uns immer holen!! :-)   Sotorus 26.02.2008 um 21:08 Clan: Kein Clan Postings: 27 NEW krass was ihr so alles für sachen drauf habt^^^..loooll. auch anDeathforce   n4rr0w 26.02.2008 um 22:43 Clan: Gamesession Hannover Postings: 2000 NEW Treffen sich zwie jäger beide TOT^^   naMico 27.02.2008 um 14:12 Clan: Kein Clan Postings: 10 NEW Nicht gegen euch: McDoff hat mich grade angerufen und hat gesagt du sollst deine Mutter ab hollen sie steckt in der Rusche fest=) und: deine mutter ist so fett wenn sie rückwäts geht fängt sie an zu Pipen^^ xD Bitte nicht persönlich nehmen das ist nur ein spruch......   n-aimless 27.02.2008 um 18:13 Clan: Kein Clan Postings: 23 NEW ja aber falsches thema ^^   n4rr0w 27.02.2008 um 19:47 Clan: Gamesession Hannover Postings: 2000 NEW übern see is schneller als schwimmen!   Hoodlum 28.02.2008 um 10:16 Clan: rwl.FOR.bLocKo Postings: 11 NEW Nachts ist es Kälter als draußen...   DataLorD 28.02.2008 um 10:34 Clan: Kein Clan Postings: 90 NEW Das hatten wir bereits... Auf den Chips von Integrierten Schaltungen sind manchmal noch irgendwelche Ecken frei. Konstrukteure füllen diese manchmal mit technisch funktionslosen, aber graphisch witzigen Strukturen, die nur ein Mikroskop sichtbar machen kann. Ein Chip beispielsweise mit einem Oberflächenwellenfilter, das wie ein Eisenbahnschienenstrang aussieht, bekam eine kleine Lokomotive auf dieses Gleis gesetzt. (KEIN WITZ, das ist tatsächlich wahr!) Ach ja @Jango: Da isser dein Lufthaken. Allerdings hab ich mir von einem Siemens-Mitarbeiter sagen lassen, das diese immer Blau sind, und korrekt als "Siemens Luftanker" bezeichnet werden. Siemens hat sich das sogar Patentieren lassen. Damnach könnte es sich bei dem Foto möglicherweise um eine billige, Chinesische Kopie handeln. [Editiert von DataLorD am 28.Feb.2008 um 10:45] __________________ in /dev/null hört dich niemand schreien!   G-Mein 28.02.2008 um 18:37 Clan: Gamesession Hannover Postings: 3217 NEW darkFlame hat folgendes geschrieben: Nicht gegen euch: McDoff hat mich grade angerufen und hat gesagt du sollst deine Mutter ab hollen sie steckt in der Rusche fest=) und: deine mutter ist so fett wenn sie rückwäts geht fängt sie an zu Pipen^^ xD Bitte nicht persönlich nehmen das ist nur ein spruch...... Du Aldi hat grad angerufen, deine mudder steckt im Drehkreuz fest und verprügelt die Kunden die durch gehen wollen...   G-Mein 28.02.2008 um 18:38 Clan: Gamesession Hannover Postings: 3217 NEW da hat Aldi grad nochmal angerufen. Nun hat se auch noch ihr Busgeld versoffen und lässt sich nun für 10 cent anspucken   Hades 02.03.2008 um 16:51 Clan: my-exolite.de Postings: 57 NEW übern berg is schneller als zu fuß   Sotorus 02.03.2008 um 19:15 Clan: Kein Clan Postings: 27 NEW es kann schon sein das brot verglichen mit bananen größer sind als in der Nacht @Silence   !LLuS!0n 03.03.2008 um 16:39 Clan: FrettcHen L0veRs Postings: 63 NEW Und wer holt mir jetzt die drei meter wlan kabel???

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0.018747 - FORUM::is_moderator          -> for forumid: 5
0.018757 - admin::getInstance           -> do
0.018770 - admin::hasRight              -> check for adminright: >0:0 & 32< FALSE
0.018777 - admin::getInstance           -> do
0.018789 - admin::hasRight              -> check for adminright: >0:0 & 16777216< FALSE
0.018795 - admin::getInstance           -> do
0.018806 - admin::hasRight              -> check for adminright: >0:0 & 64< FALSE
0.018843 - HTML::template               -> template: >forum_postingpart<
0.018910 - HTML::template               -> template: >forum_postingindex_closed<
0.018990 - FORUM::showthread            -> check for moderator utils
0.019004 - FORUM::update_visit          -> forumid: 5 threadid: 886 posttime: 2008-03-03 16:39:49
0.019061 - GLOBAL::end userspace        -> ---------------------------------------------
0.019121 - PAGE::render                 -> start rendering page layout
0.019127 - styles::getInstance          -> do
0.019134 - USER::check_for_new_messages -> return
0.019146 - HTML::template               -> template: >page_sitetitle<
0.019203 - dotSession::getInstance      -> do
0.019211 - styles::getInstance          -> do
0.019269 - HTML::template               -> template: >page_topbanner<
0.019317 - PAGE::get_shortmenu          -> return
0.019324 - styles::getInstance          -> do
0.019329 - dotSession::getInstance      -> do
0.019344 - SESSION::anz_onlineuser      -> return
0.019379 - dotDatabase::query           -> SELECT COUNT(DISTINCT userid, host, useragent) FROM session WHERE lastactivity > 1775646992
0.019664 - dotDatabase::query           -> SELECT COUNT(DISTINCT userid, host, useragent) FROM session WHERE lastactivity > 1775646992 AND userid!=0
0.019924 - HTML::template               -> template: >page_shortmenu<
0.019996 - PAGE::get_boxes              -> -------- side=left
0.020006 - styles::getInstance          -> do
0.020013 - GLOBAL::include              -> class.cbox.php
0.020037 - dotCommon::classload         -> require: /www/htdocs/w01a41dd/testlive.gsh-lan.com/www/includes/class.cbox.php
0.021333 - PAGE::get_boxes              -> -------- call: left::menu_news
0.021354 - CBOX::menu                   -> generate Menu Box >news<
0.021364 - admin::getInstance           -> do
0.021375 - HTML::template               -> template: >box_menu_bit<
0.021446 - HTML::template               -> template: >box_menu<
0.021518 - HTML::template_exists        -> search: >page_box_left< == 1
0.021542 - HTML::template               -> template: >page_box_left<
0.021596 - PAGE::get_boxes              -> -------- call: left::menu_info
0.021610 - CBOX::menu                   -> generate Menu Box >info<
0.021617 - admin::getInstance           -> do
0.021627 - HTML::template               -> template: >box_menu_bit<
0.021644 - HTML::template               -> template: >box_menu_bit<
0.021658 - HTML::template               -> template: >box_menu_bit<
0.021671 - HTML::template               -> template: >box_menu_bit<
0.021683 - HTML::template               -> template: >box_menu_bit<
0.021695 - HTML::template               -> template: >box_menu_bit<
0.021707 - HTML::template               -> template: >box_menu<
0.021736 - HTML::template_exists        -> search: >page_box_left< == 1
0.021755 - HTML::template               -> template: >page_box_left<
0.021777 - PAGE::get_boxes              -> -------- call: left::menu_lan
0.021788 - CBOX::menu                   -> generate Menu Box >lan<
0.021794 - admin::getInstance           -> do
0.021803 - HTML::template               -> template: >box_menu_bit<
0.021821 - HTML::template               -> template: >box_menu_bit<
0.021834 - HTML::template               -> template: >box_menu_bit<
0.021847 - HTML::template               -> template: >box_menu_bit<
0.021859 - HTML::template               -> template: >box_menu_bit<
0.021871 - HTML::template               -> template: >box_menu_bit<
0.021883 - HTML::template               -> template: >box_menu_bit<
0.021895 - HTML::template               -> template: >box_menu_bit<
0.021906 - HTML::template               -> template: >box_menu<
0.021934 - HTML::template_exists        -> search: >page_box_left< == 1
0.021951 - HTML::template               -> template: >page_box_left<
0.021973 - PAGE::get_boxes              -> -------- call: left::menu_turnier
0.021983 - CBOX::menu                   -> generate Menu Box >turnier<
0.021989 - admin::getInstance           -> do
0.021997 - HTML::template               -> template: >box_menu_bit<
0.022012 - HTML::template               -> template: >box_menu_bit<
0.022031 - HTML::template               -> template: >box_menu_bit<
0.022045 - HTML::template               -> template: >box_menu_bit<
0.022056 - HTML::template               -> template: >box_menu<
0.022083 - HTML::template_exists        -> search: >page_box_left< == 1
0.022100 - HTML::template               -> template: >page_box_left<
0.022121 - PAGE::get_boxes              -> -------- call: left::menu_communtiy
0.022131 - CBOX::menu                   -> generate Menu Box >community<
0.022137 - admin::getInstance           -> do
0.022145 - HTML::template               -> template: >box_menu_bit<
0.022163 - HTML::template               -> template: >box_menu_bit<
0.022177 - HTML::template               -> template: >box_menu_bit<
0.022188 - HTML::template               -> template: >box_menu<
0.022215 - HTML::template_exists        -> search: >page_box_left< == 1
0.022232 - HTML::template               -> template: >page_box_left<
0.022259 - PAGE::get_boxes              -> -------- call: left::menu_user
0.022269 - CBOX::menu                   -> generate Menu Box >login<
0.022276 - admin::getInstance           -> do
0.022283 - HTML::template               -> template: >box_menu_bit<
0.022301 - HTML::template               -> template: >box_menu_bit<
0.022313 - HTML::template               -> template: >box_menu<
0.022341 - HTML::template_exists        -> search: >page_box_left< == 1
0.022358 - HTML::template               -> template: >page_box_left<
0.022379 - HTML::template               -> template: >page_content_left<
0.022439 - PAGE::get_boxes              -> -------- side=right
0.022447 - styles::getInstance          -> do
0.022452 - GLOBAL::include              -> class.cbox.php
0.022460 - PAGE::get_boxes              -> -------- call: right::login
0.022471 - CBOX::login                  -> generate Box
0.022483 - HTML::template               -> template: >box_login<
0.022566 - HTML::template_exists        -> search: >page_box_right< == 1
0.022584 - HTML::template               -> template: >page_box_right<
0.022632 - PAGE::get_boxes              -> -------- call: right::party
0.022644 - CBOX::party                  -> generate Box
0.022652 - HTML::template               -> template: >box_event_nocurrent<
0.022709 - HTML::template_exists        -> search: >page_box_right< == 1
0.022727 - HTML::template               -> template: >page_box_right<
0.022745 - PAGE::get_boxes              -> -------- call: right::upcomingparty
0.022765 - HTML::template_exists        -> search: >page_box_right< == 1
0.022780 - HTML::template               -> template: >page_box_right<
0.022802 - PAGE::get_boxes              -> -------- call: right::buddylist
0.022813 - CBOX::buddylist              -> generate Box
0.022823 - HTML::template               -> template: >box_buddylist_notloggedin<
0.022882 - HTML::template_exists        -> search: >page_box_right< == 1
0.022900 - HTML::template               -> template: >page_box_right<
0.022918 - PAGE::get_boxes              -> -------- call: right::forum
0.022927 - CBOX::forum                  -> generate forum box
0.022934 - CBOX::forum_load_threads     -> load data
0.022959 - dotCommon::classload         -> require: /www/htdocs/w01a41dd/testlive.gsh-lan.com/www/includes/class.cache.php
0.023194 - CACHE::get                   -> cache: >topthreads< found
0.023340 - CBOX::forum_threads          -> list all threads in array
0.023354 - FORUM::thread_lastvisit      -> threadid: Array
0.023365 - admin::getInstance           -> do
0.023402 - HTML::template               -> template: >box_forum_bit<
0.023498 - HTML::template               -> template: >box_forum_bit<
0.023545 - HTML::template               -> template: >box_forum_bit<
0.023581 - HTML::template               -> template: >box_forum_bit<
0.023619 - HTML::template               -> template: >box_forum_bit<
0.023653 - HTML::template               -> template: >box_forum_bit<
0.023688 - HTML::template               -> template: >box_forum_bit<
0.023722 - HTML::template               -> template: >box_forum_bit<
0.023755 - HTML::template               -> template: >box_forum_bit<
0.023786 - HTML::template               -> template: >box_forum_bit<
0.023818 - HTML::template               -> template: >box_forum_bit<
0.023850 - HTML::template               -> template: >box_forum_bit<
0.023870 - HTML::template               -> template: >box_forum<
0.023966 - HTML::template_exists        -> search: >page_box_right< == 1
0.023989 - HTML::template               -> template: >page_box_right<
0.024012 - HTML::template               -> template: >page_content_right<
0.024074 - HTML::template               -> template: >page_content<
0.024139 - HTML::template               -> template: >page_impressum<
0.024183 - HTML::template               -> template: >page<
0.024428 - PAGE::render                 -> final

PHP Includes   : 27
DB Queries     : 17
Rendering Time : 0.025575

Includes PHP Files: 
 - /www/htdocs/w01a41dd/testlive.gsh-lan.com/www/forum/index.php
 - /www/htdocs/w01a41dd/testlive.gsh-lan.com/www/global.php
 - /www/htdocs/w01a41dd/testlive.gsh-lan.com/www/vendor/autoload.php
 - /www/htdocs/w01a41dd/testlive.gsh-lan.com/www/vendor/composer/autoload_real.php
 - /www/htdocs/w01a41dd/testlive.gsh-lan.com/www/vendor/composer/ClassLoader.php
 - /www/htdocs/w01a41dd/testlive.gsh-lan.com/www/vendor/composer/autoload_static.php
 - /www/htdocs/w01a41dd/testlive.gsh-lan.com/www/vendor/nikic/fast-route/src/functions.php
 - /www/htdocs/w01a41dd/testlive.gsh-lan.com/www/vendor/swiftmailer/swiftmailer/lib/swift_required.php
 - /www/htdocs/w01a41dd/testlive.gsh-lan.com/www/vendor/swiftmailer/swiftmailer/lib/classes/Swift.php
 - /www/htdocs/w01a41dd/testlive.gsh-lan.com/www/vendor/symfony/polyfill-ctype/bootstrap.php
 - /www/htdocs/w01a41dd/testlive.gsh-lan.com/www/includes/class.dotCommon.php
 - /www/htdocs/w01a41dd/testlive.gsh-lan.com/www/config.php
 - /www/htdocs/w01a41dd/testlive.gsh-lan.com/www/includes/class.dotDatabase.php
 - /www/htdocs/w01a41dd/testlive.gsh-lan.com/www/includes/class.page.php
 - /www/htdocs/w01a41dd/testlive.gsh-lan.com/www/includes/class.pageextends.php
 - /www/htdocs/w01a41dd/testlive.gsh-lan.com/www/includes/class.dotSession.php
 - /www/htdocs/w01a41dd/testlive.gsh-lan.com/www/includes/class.user.php
 - /www/htdocs/w01a41dd/testlive.gsh-lan.com/www/includes/class.styles.php
 - /www/htdocs/w01a41dd/testlive.gsh-lan.com/www/html/styles/gsh-lan-grey.php
 - /www/htdocs/w01a41dd/testlive.gsh-lan.com/www/includes/class.event.php
 - /www/htdocs/w01a41dd/testlive.gsh-lan.com/www/includes/class.admin.php
 - /www/htdocs/w01a41dd/testlive.gsh-lan.com/www/includes/class.prvmsg.php
 - /www/htdocs/w01a41dd/testlive.gsh-lan.com/www/includes/class.sitzplan.php
 - /www/htdocs/w01a41dd/testlive.gsh-lan.com/www/includes/class.forum.php
 - /www/htdocs/w01a41dd/testlive.gsh-lan.com/www/includes/class.html.php
 - /www/htdocs/w01a41dd/testlive.gsh-lan.com/www/includes/class.cbox.php
 - /www/htdocs/w01a41dd/testlive.gsh-lan.com/www/includes/class.cache.php